Posted 11:52 PM by Melanie
Update: Sunderland beat us, albeit unfairly.

Updates are on the decrease because I've been busy with college and now my stomach lining has gone on the downfall again, so this two second message is all I can manage.

I presume you are all willing me on to "Get Well Soon". Spank you all for the concern.

Much love to ya all,
The Queen xx

Posted 11:45 PM by Melanie
Well, I hate to be right all the time and I hate to say "I told you so" to people all the time. But "I told you so!!!!". See, I knew we wouldn't struggle in this league. Okay, some people may have said (back in May) that my claims we would be battling for promotion were "premature" and "totally unrealistic". But after romping to victory against Plymouth "who?" Argyle on foreign turf, we are just a shake of Matt Spring's mullet away from a play off spot. And, we have a game in hand.

And we have indeed signed Sean Gregan. On paper, we have practically the best (if not the best full stop) team in the league.

I even had a glimpse of the premiership news and quite frankly, they are missing the drama from the Leeds United soap opera. Only a few weeks into the league and Arsenal are running away with the title while everyone else is languising miles behind in the Gunner's trail of destruction, with managers and players alike dropping like flies.

When Blackburn's hunt for a manager is top of the news stories, you know your league is on the slides! Meanwhile, light comedy is provided in the shape of Ronny Johnsen joining Newcastle. Guess we'll be passing them on the way up while they hurtle down the divisions at the quickest of speeds.

Obviously, the actual news comes in the shape of Manure lazing around down at the arse end of the league, while Everton are top five despite being robbed of the only half decent player they are ever likely to produce off their own bat. Sweet, sweet justice.

Also, one in the face for football critics far and wide is that we are trouncing Leicester. As for Wolves...well fuck me, aren't they having a bad start to the season. Can't say I'm surprised but like I say...ALWAYS RIGHT.

La la di da. Life is goody good.

News from another (less interesting or even remotely good) ship is that our Simon Johnson came on as a sub for the Black Cacks and played well for the twenty minutes he was on the pitch. We are supposedly "mad" for sending him to a rival, but like I said to my well placed source :"Ooh the fuck are ya?"

Posted 3:59 PM by Melanie
So, it looks like after what has probably been the longest and most tedious of transfer wranglings, we are set to sign Gregan. Obviously nobody has declared such news, but since we have released Branco after precisely 6 minutes it seems quite likely after what Joe "Jealous of that Big Massive Club, Leeds United" Kinnear said.

Also, it was my first day back at college today. I got lost in a sea of Newcastle and manure shirts. Sadly, I think it's going to be one of those years.

Posted 1:22 AM by Melanie
Leeds Vs. Coventry City (3-0; Carlisle, Joachim, Pugh)

No spiderman today, so I was forced to watch the match. We were alright, I suppose but I'm still not sure about Brian Deanes's constant clearing of the ball in situations where it should be floating into the back of the net off his backside. Even The Hulk was grimaching everytime Deano got the ball. Why do so many people pass to him? They may as well pass the ball to me. Or Spiderman.

I was abit shocked at Peter Reid's initial reluctancy to give us a wave though! Cheeky twat. We gave him the best few months of football supportership he has ever seen. Or is likey to see for that matter. I saw all the little Coventry girls sneaking off before full time, nancy boys.

I am slightly concerned about the toilets in Elland Road though. I had to wait hours before I could have a wee. I don't want to know whats been happening in the ladies toilets. I have to wait till I got home and it's a two hour journey!!

Back to the football. Er....Oh yes. Gary Kelly was good! He was running and kicking the ball and everything. It's the best I've seen him play in ages and years and aeons. I think we rely quite heavily on Frazer. He is very good though. As is Danny Pugh. I don't know what them eejits over the Pennines were thinking of really. They've practically gifted the Championship to us on a plate. And Simon Walton. That boy is fierce. Next season he will be folding the opposition like oregami.And sending them home in a little envelope.

I can't believe Julian scored though. It was starting to look like he would never ever score (Brian Deane Syndrome, is what we will call it). I am willing to bet real live moneys though, that little Joachim will be scoring for fun now. We can't rely on Dubes the Superstriker forever. I love him....but it's time to move on. We've grown a part. It's not you, Duberry, it's me. Can we still be friends?

Actually, I don't even think I like football that much. I think I only go for the cosmopolitan scenery, interesting people and fine wine. And if that ever goes down hill....well, I'll be supporting Barcelona next season : /

Posted 4:27 PM by Melanie
well, isnt life funny in the crazy world of football!

i was just reading the newspaper about newcastle united and all their crap news. terry fucking venables, eh! what a brilliant old manager that guy is! From one career high to another....I sometimes wonder why we never employed him!

News of the world...fucking useless piece of shit! The guy is a top class nob end who doesn't know they difference between a game of football and a game of tiddlywinks! Couldn't be better off at st james park though, three of the worlds biggest wankers working together in harmony. She-rah and Fat Freddy must be creaming themselves just considering the possibilities!

Yes, I'm just bitter because we're languishing down in the arse end of the first division. I'll get over it though! At least we have a new found wealth, with our spectacular bid for Sean Gregan!! Our new fucking world class player. Can't comment on the lad...dont know tghe first thing about him. But I do know that he can't get into WBA's first team squad!!! So if he's not good enough for West Brom who are going to be in Div 1 next season anyway, then why are we so desperate for him?

Why can't we use our new found wealth to buy Ronaldhino. Or David Beckham. Or Luke Chadwick. Or Brian Deane (doh!).

Speaking of Deano, isnt he the answer to all of England's problems! We need someone who can stop the opposition from scoring and nobody keeps the ball from the back of the net better than Brian Deane. SIGN HIM UP!

Posted 11:23 PM by Melanie
Leeds V Gillingham
1-2
Byfield, Roberts, Danny Pugh.

It seems that our so far unbeaten season has hit turbulance in the shape of Gilllingham. Fair enough, I did not see one iota of this match but I detected foul play the very moment I heard we were one nil down. I take you back to the January before last, when Andy Hessenthaler diabolically through his body into the turf in order to get Big Mark Viduka sent off. See! CHEAT! This clearly means that had Gillingham played by the rules tonight, we would have won. Therefore, I officially declare tonight's result as a minor hitch not worth worrying too much about. And since I am the official spokesperson for all things official, you can take this as gospel.

Posted 5:33 PM by Melanie
Leeds v Derby
1-0 (Frazer Richardson)

I have to say, that when I ran to the ground to find there was a mile long queue at the Kop entrance, I had a semi-bad feeling that it was somekind of omen. Either that we would get walloped or that we'd win but everyone would be stuck outside the ground for the match.

Taking off from home though, I assured the bus driver that we'd not only win the game, but the league as well. As things stand, I am very right. Fair enough, at the time we actually went top of the league, we had the advantage of being one of the only two teams to have played so far but that is beside the point.
In truth, the first half of the game was not exactly eventful. But, with the players running around actually attempting to play football and inflatable Spiderman and donkey floating around in the Kop, that plus the general excited atmosphere was enough to keep me awake.

We should have gone about three nil up before half time but squandered a couple of really good chances. That said, everyone was pulling their socks up and getting stuck in, particularly Gary Kelly who tried to bury himself in the turf in the first 2 seconds of the game.

The crowd were in extremely fine fettle as well. The vocal harmonising was just brilliant. Not the same can be said for the Derby fans who did not appear to have turned up at all. Unless it was them in the corner making no noise and sleeping peacefully.

The second half was abit livlier, mostly due to the fact that Derby's keeper Camp was in the Kop side goal. Needless to say, one look at the name on the back of his jersey had everyone's brain going into overdrive. "Gay and you know you are!" sang the Elland Road faithful. "Whoooooo" they screamed. "You camp bastard!!". The poor lad had it coming.

To our players now....Everyone did quite well. At times, Ricketts looked like the sheer force of his weight was making him incapable of movement and Joachim did look ball shy on a number of occasions. On saying that, he ran everywhere even if he didn't quite get to his destination on time. Defencively, we seemed to have cracked it. Well, more so than last season. Duberry was as usual, a rock, his exquisitately shaped head sending the ball in all sorts of directions. Butler made a strong captain's debut appearence and looked steady and reliable. Obviously, Frazer was more than impressive, working his legs to the bone the whole time and scoring a cracking goal along the way. Killer was also very impressive. Not just because he's not Ian Harte, but because he actually played very well. Walton is clearly the new cult figure in the making. Totally fearless, he threw himself into any tackle he could- all of them good. Kells had a decent performance despite the fact that he's beginning to show his age. I can't really remember much about Jamma Wright, but he was popping up all over the joint which is a good thing I suppose and Danny Pugh was lively throughout and only just missed scoring. Scotland's Number One was not bothered too much, but put in some good saves when needed and looked like he knew what he was up to. Lastly, a MASSIVE shout out to my main man, Brian Dean. I can't believe that this guy is practically at the end of his career considering he got absolutely everywhere on the pitch. It was also great to see

RadeberadaberadebeLuCASSSSS get on the pitch as well. What a legend.
AND, apart from the fact that we WON A MATCH, we also KEPT A CLEAN SHEET.

AND nobody got booked. AND the weather was gorgeous.

In footballing terms, perhaps not the most exciting game we'll ever see but certainly a near perfect start to the season.